


airport bar confessional

by poisonrationalitie



Category: Counting On (TV) RPF
Genre: Airports, Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Bar/Pub, Background Relationships, F/F, Oblivious, One Shot, Religion, Secret Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:47:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28789725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poisonrationalitie/pseuds/poisonrationalitie
Summary: Lauren Swanson doesn’t really like Kendra - Lauren likes alcohol and being left alone and her boyfriend not talking to random hot strangers.Kendra Caldwell doesn’t really like bars - Kendra likes God, saving souls, and Lauren Swanson.
Relationships: Kendra Caldwell & Lauren Swanson, Kendra Caldwell/Lauren Swanson
Kudos: 1





	airport bar confessional

He has  _ got  _ to be kidding her. After a whole car ride - after days, really - filled with promises that he wouldn’t leave her with a stranger, Josiah has done  _ exactly _ that. He caught some bloke’s eye from across the bar and in literally a second, he was over there, chatting away. It wouldn’t be half as bad if Joe was still there, but he’d excused himself to the bathroom half an hour ago and had a tendency to take a while. So now Lauren is abandoned and left with Kendra, Joe’s gorgeous, popular girlfriend. Fucking hell. She’d rather be left alone with  _ Jessa.  _

It’s not that Kendra’s a stranger - they sort of knew each other growing up, what with their dads having mutual friends, and now they’ve spent the past six months at the same barbeques, and Kendra’s even initiated small talk each time, and invited her for a great many shopping trips, or girls’ days, or whatever-the-fuck (Lauren had gone once and been promptly sick of it). It’s just that it’s  _ Kendra.  _ Kendra, who is already in the running to be Michelle’s favourite daughter-in-law, whose whole idea it was to go on this mission trip, who is practically a Duggar already. Kendra, who has never, not once, fought with Joe in front of the whole family and then burst into tears. 

Lauren pours the remainder of her wine spritzer down her throat.

“So, is that a friend of Josiah’s?” Kendra asks, not unkindly. Her promise ring glitters in the orange glow of the airport bar, next to her purity ring.  _ How high school,  _ Lauren thinks dryly. Her gaze turns to her boyfriend, who chats animatedly to the rugged Hispanic man covered in tattoos, lounging in a rare, near-empty booth. The truth of the matter is that he’s probably an ex, but Joe isn’t exactly Jill or Jinger - not smart enough to figure it out on his own nor exactly a fan of RuPaul, if you catch her drift.

“I think so,” Lauren says finally.

“How nice,” Kendra replies, sugary-sweet. Lauren brings her glass to her lips, only to find that it’s empty.  _ Jesus fuck.  _ She pinches the bridge of her nose. Kendra sips her little pineapple mocktail (is she fourteen?) and smiles at her. 

“Are you nervous?” Kendra asks. 

“No,” Lauren says. Then pauses. “What about? Why?” Not Josiah. Really, not Josiah. Honest.

“Well, the flight,” Kendra says, and nods at her drink. “That’s your third.” Lauren tightens her grip around her empty glass. The last thing she needs is fucking Kendra, beautiful Kendra with her long blonde hair and her squishable cheeks, lecturing her.

“I can drink what I want,” Lauren says.

“Oh,” she giggles, higher pitched than before, “I know! I just want to make sure you’re okay!” Kendra touches her hand and Lauren stiffens. Her fingertips are really weirdly soft. And her nails are rounded and painted a rosy pink, and they aren’t chipped at all, somehow. The world isn’t fair. She could lock herself in a prayer closet for a week and come out with broken nails and flaked polish. Kendra’s the kind of girl that would only be in the prayer closet by choice, Lauren thinks. There aren’t enough weirdly-mainly-but-not-totally-faded red marks on her arm otherwise. 

“I’m fine,” Lauren says. She pulls out her clutch and absently thumbs the contents - her passport ( _ horrific  _ picture), her and Siah’s boarding passes. Another hour killing time in the airport sprawls in front of her, followed by nineteen (nineteen!) hours on a plane stuck between Siah and Kendra, because Joe and Siah have this weird need to be on the aisle. She presses a finger to the bridge of her nose.

“Kendra,” she says.

“Yes?”

“Why a mission trip? Couldn’t we have just gone on holiday to visit the Dillards?” A nice, relaxing holiday by the pool, maybe a half-assed hike up a mountain, if it was insisted upon. There’s  _ zero  _ reason they have to mix in spreading the gospel. The gospel can spread itself. Jesus can just like, make an appearance in people’s hearts, can’t he? She catches the bartender’s attention and charges a margarita to Siah’s card. He’s still over there chatting up a probable-ex, who appears to have ordered them drinks, so, whatever, it’s even.

“I always want to spread the word, wherever I go,” Kendra says earnestly. “And so does Joe. I don’t like the idea of going somewhere and not trying to save them. I don’t want people to be left out of Heaven.” Lauren looks at Kendra, and sighs. Because it’s true. Of course it’s true - it’s Kendra, who probably would’ve been a girl scout if ‘scout’ hadn’t sounded too masculine for the Caldwells. She’s like Thin Mints. You can’t hate her. And Lauren really, really wants to, sometimes, because it has to be an act, honestly, but it’s not. So Lauren drinks deeply and cradles her chin in her hand.

“How do you do it?” she asks, running a finger across the edge of the lime garnishing her drink. Kendra smiles at her, brightly, every tooth perfectly in place and dazzlingly white.

“Do what?” she asks. Lauren eyes her. Really?  _ Really?  _ Can you be that - nice? It makes her feel kind of shit. 

“Be so - I don’t know. Like, genuinely...you want people to get into Heaven.”

“Don’t you?” Kendra asks, a line of concern forming between her brows. So she  _ can  _ feel something other than bliss and ignorance. Lauren never would have guessed. She shifts in her seat, sips her drink.

“Well, yeah, obviously. But not enough to want to give up my whole holiday.”

“You don’t think I want to relax?” Kendra asks, still smiling. Lauren drinks again, feeling lightheaded. Kendra giggles. “I would. But it’s not about what I want.”

Lauren frowns, then, and it feels larger than it normally would be. 

“Why not?” she asks. “Why can’t it be about what you want?” Kendra’s smile twitches downwards.  _ A-ha!  _ She does think better after a few drinks. If they’d let her drink through school, she might’ve scholarshipped herself into a college. Shame. 

“It’s not very Godly,” Kendra says. Lauren sighs. She should’ve known. Gah. 

“So? You’re not God. You have none of His privileges, so I don’t know why you should have to take on his responsibilities.” It’s all bullshit. Lauren had looked after her gaggle of siblings and got what, exactly, in return? A boyfriend who preferred his boyfriends and a minor role on a television freakshow about his family’s breeding abilities. Cheers, God. Nice one. 

She expects Kendra to giggle again, as an icebreaker of sorts, but she doesn’t.

“I don’t like the things I want,” Kendra says quietly, so that Lauren has to lean in a bit to hear her. If there’s one thing Kendra should’ve learned by now, it’s to speak up. You never get heard in the Duggar house if you aren’t the loudest and whingiest in the room.

Actually, that’s maybe why they like Kendra. Never mind.

“You obviously like it,” Lauren says. “If you want it, then you have to like it.” She gulps down more of her margarita. Kendra’s eyes are on her, lingering, and Lauren wants to tell her to take a picture if she’s that obsessed. She can’t quite manage it. It’s not because Kendra’s frowning and not giggling and has glassy eyes or anything dumb like that, really, it’s more that the room is a bit unstable. She can feel the drinks fellowshipping in her stomach in a very unpleasant manner. 

“Sometimes we’re tempted, though. The Devil makes us think we want things, but we don’t,” Kendra tells her, the most serious she’s ever been. It doesn’t suit her. Lauren catches a figure on his way over, and holds her breath, trying to sober up.  _ Now. Sober, now. God, if you let me be - normal - right now, I’ll never drink again. I’ll have a bunch of kids. Now. Now. Not in front of Joe.  _

Joseph comes up with his awkward smile, and pats Kendra’s shoulder. In an instance, Kendra’s solemn look vanishes, and she giggles sweetly at him. Lauren could die. 

“Hey,” Joe says, gazing adoringly at Kendra. Lauren gazes adoringly at her margarita. Siah probably gazes adoringly at the random guy. At the Duggars’ house, Michelle is most likely gazing adoringly at Jim Bob. Such is life. 

Lauren doesn’t notice Kendra gazing adoringly at her. 


End file.
